I've always tried to figure out why I believe what I believe about God. The study in Genesis right now is good because it is helping me understand more of the theme of the Bible, and thus see the continuous melody running through variations and harmony throughout the book. In the darkest times of confusion, I've wondered why I don't renounce Christianity like so many of my friends have. Maybe it's because even when I question and become angry at God, I am still drawn back by the evidence of His work both in history and in my life. Also, there is the part of my mind that says belief in God is more logical and more suitable to the human heart, soul, and imagination than non-belief. I'm going to be re-reading C.S. Lewis's book "Mere Christianity" soon. It's an interesting trail tracing the steps of inherent moral knowledge up to the tenets of belief in God and Christ.
Here is a quote that affected me very much when I was a child wondering about whether God was real or not. It still impacts my thoughts.
"Suppose we HAVE only dreamed, or made up, all those things- trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours IS the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by a play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we're leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that's a small loss if the world's as dull a place as you say."
- From "The Silver Chair", by C.S. Lewis