Every year I write more. It's not because I think I know more, really, but because I realize that I can explore subjects, figure out what I'm thinking/feeling, and understand life much better when I type or write. Probably half of what I write nobody sees but me (and sometimes Chris). I write poetry, much of which is private; my on-and-off journal entries are glimpses for myself into my past thoughts; I keep a dream-book by my bed handy to scrawl down what has just happened in my sleeping-awake subconscious; there are a few people I still correspond with as long distance friends, some by email, one or two by snail mail. Writing is addicting, and, I would say, good for my well being, just as music and books are. So one of my New Year's resolutions is to write more; not necessarily more in quantity, but more in quality, to look at life more deeply so that writing will bring the deepest stuff of life into my awareness.
I want to go barefoot more. It's been only within the past year or two that I've realized how much I don't enjoy wearing shoes. In the wintertime, of course, it's pretty much necessary, and I really hate my feet feeling frozen (cold feet I'm used to, but icy toes are no fun). I don't mind wearing socks indoors. There's just something about feeling the ground when you walk. It makes me feel more stable and more connected with.... everything. So I want to go barefoot more in 2011.
Then, I want to explore what it means to be a musician. There have been many ways that I've used music this past year that I would never have thought to be doing ten years ago: leading the worship in a women's Bible study, teaching Sunday school children Bible songs, listening to crazy bands, leading an ensemble of young guitarists, and other ventures. I'm excited to see how 2011 will bring more musical growth and exploration into my life.
There we are. Three resolutions, I guess. Or maybe they're more like hopes. Or dreams.
I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year,
with thee, O Father, as my harbor,
thee, O Son, at my helm,
thee, O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.
Guide me to heaven with my loins girt,
my lamp burning,
my ear open to thy calls,
my heart full of love,
my soul free.
Give me thy grace to sanctify me,
thy comforts to cheer,
thy wisdom to teach,
thy right hand to guide,
thy counsel to instruct,
thy law to judge,
thy presence to stabilize.
My thy fear be my awe,
thy triumphs my joy.
- New Year, from "Valley of Vision"
there was with the angel
a multitude of the heavenly host
praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth, peace,
good will among men!"
- Luke 2:13-14